You guys. I have been in a knock down- drag out fight with germs so far this “sick” season. Seriously, remember how I told you we were all sick before Thanksgiving? And then Christian after Thanksgiving? Well, Alex and Christian both have cough/colds going on and I had ANOTHER stomach bug yesterday. Seriously! Time to bleach all the things. I hope you are all staying healthy!
Anyways. Have you heard of this? The 8, 9, 10 month sleep regression? Does that mean it happens once at 8 months, then again at 9 months and a third time at 10 months? I’m really hoping this is an “or” situation because Christian was up every. Single. Hour for two nights in a row and I may or may not have been delirious and it just cannot happen again at 9 AND 10 months. It’ll give me way too much time to think when I should be sleeping.
Apparently, this regression is due to him practicing a new skill in his sleep. My guess is crawling because he is always in a totally different position than I left him when he’s waking me up to feed him. Again. Also, his brain is in hyper overdrive trying to process all that he’s learning each day. Maybe I should cool it on all that arithmetic I’ve been doing with him. Ha!
When I told my mom this, she started laughing at me. She thought it was hilarious that I had it all analyzed. She said if my sister or I weren’t sleeping for some reason when we were babies, she would tell my dad it was his turn to get up. Smart woman. She was just trying to figure out a way to get more sleep and here I am, contemplating my effectiveness as a parent because my baby wants to hang out every hour on the hour. I think she had the right idea.
I really struggle with having so much information (& misinformation) at my fingertips 24/7. It’s such a habit for me to pull out my phone and Google whatever thing my kids are doing while I nurse Christian at 3 am. “8 month old pooping 5 times a day” “when can a baby have wheat, eggs, yogurt” “2 1/2 year old potty training regression””what is considered ‘fluff’ in a car seat?” There is so much out there. So many experiences from a million different people. Everybody has something to say about everything.
Here’s what I’m going to say and what I think you should ask yourself when you are contemplating your parental effectiveness next time. Is your child safe? Happy? Fed? Loved? If yes, you’re doing an awesome job. It doesn’t matter that you can’t get your baby to sleep through the night or to fall asleep on his own. It doesn’t matter that your kid won’t eat a single vegetable. It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks about how you do what you do as long as you are loving your kids and doing your best.
Nobody is a perfect parent. I give Alex a sucker if he poops in the potty at 9am because, for real, I’m so tired. I just want him to go in the potty and if he needs a sucker for that, I’m all over it. I’ll even pick out all the red suckers (not the apple, not the blue) for him if he’ll just poop on the potty. I can (almost) guarantee that he won’t need a sucker for the rest of hIs life when he poops, so I’m probably not screwing him up. I just brush his teeth and move on and then cross my fingers that he’s done pooping for the day.
Alex goes in time out because every once in a while, he feels like he needs to deck John and I in the face and that’s just not going to fly around here. He learns his lesson for a day or so.
And I’m so done trying to “sleep train” Christian. I nurse him to sleep and sometimes I pay for it, but, you know what? Sometimes he sleeps through the night and it’s so glorious. And you know what else? On the nights I’ve had him “self soothe” he’s woken up multiple times and it left me with that guilty “it was all-for-nothing” feeling. But, sometimes he slept through the night that way, too. So, I throw my arms up because I think sleep problems have more to do with teething, travel, being sick, going through a milestone, brain overload, and whatever else. I mean, I don’t always sleep through the night so why should he have to just because I want him to? (But, please though, Christian. Mommy is tired.)
Sometimes, I worry that Christian is developing slower than Alex was. I try so hard not to compare them, but Alex is my only previous parenting experience, so it’s all I have to go on. Alex was super early on everything and Christian is taking his time and I worry, just because maybe, I’m not paying as much attention to him as I did Alex. Maybe I could do more. But, maybe, just maybe, he’s totally okay with army crawling his way around until he’s ready to crawl for real. He looks darn cute belly scooting around my floor, anyways.
So anyways, that’s what I think about that as I lay here in bed typing on my phone when I really should be sleeping because Christian and Alex are! I hope you know what a great mom or dad you are. That sole fact that you are googling something that you think you’re doing wrong, shows that you’re an awesome parent because YOU CARE that you might be screwing your kid up for life by feeding him chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs. But, you’re feeding him, so rock on, you. You’re awesome. Go kiss and hug your kids and tell them you love them.
xo
Sam
